This is so late, but I have had zero time to sort through my life lately. But, I had to take a minute to remind my future self that we had THE most amazing weekend out in the woods with our family, and I wish we could all go back!
Sam's youngest brother just returned from a two-year mission for our church, serving the people in Northern Texas. Literally, two days after he stepped off the plane, he was whisked away for an entire week of Graycation 2017! We have been talking about doing something like this for years and years. After Sam and I found our "Redwoods Cabin" we often thought, "This would be the perfect place for the Grays." The place has a huge lodge, super long dining table, massive deck, enough beds for everyone and then some, and endless amounts of outdoor games and fun. But, I was still actually a little surprised when we somehow convinced the entire family to fly/drive out to California for a reunion in the Redwoods. I say "reunion," but really they all live in Utah and we are the only ones who live away. So, I am so grateful that they were willing to come out here for the fun! Unfortunately, one family was not able to come out, and their absence was definitely felt. We missed you guys!
We spent a couple of days hanging out in Berkeley and San Francisco, and some were even able to catch a Giants game. And, then we all packed up for a five day stay at Camp Liahona Redwoods. That is, after we had the most epic Costco trip and filled an entire pallet with food. We bought so much food. We obviously ended up bringing quite a bit back with us, but you never know with this troop. Those boys can eat.
We spent our days playing in the lodge, making puzzles, playing cornhole on the deck, eating, pitching in the field, kayaking in the river, eating, lounging, sleeping, and eating. We spent one day out at the coast, playing spike ball and dipping the babies toes in the ocean. We had the best gaggle of babies to entertain us. The second to last picture is of Anthony with all five babies that were born while he was gone on his mission. Sadie will have so much fun with these cousins when they are older! For now, they tentatively played next to each other, occasionally stealing each other's toys. Sadie is, unfortunately, used to some intense rough play from her older sister, and kept hitting and climbing on the twins. Poor guys.
Speaking of, we all got to celebrate the twins' first birthday on the trip! We had a little cake smash and everything.
Eliza was so excited to have so many people to entertain her. I was nervous that she would be jealous of all of the babies, but everyone was so generous in giving their time and attention to E. Every time i turned around, someone was happily reading her a book or playing a game with her. And, I think she felt special to be able to play in the water and float in the kayaks with the adults, while the babies played on the beach. She even found a tiny toad, and collected endless amounts of treasures. And, one of my favorite memories was making art crafts on the deck with her.
I will say it again and again- I am so grateful to have married into this family. They are so loving and kind, and such fun. It was fun to be around Sam's brothers' new families, too. We haven't really been all together a lot since the addition of these new babies. I always find it interesting to see what kind of parents your loved ones become, when you have known them before they had kids. They are all stellar parents, and I feel like I learned so much from them in that short week! And, Sam's parents are always such examples of patience and love. Thank you, Grays. Here's to next year's Graycation!
Sadie baby is another month older, and only getting cuter. I can't even. I really can't. I'm really obsessed with this child lately. Smother Mother status.
She has just blossomed these last few weeks. Her personality is sparkling, and her list of talents is growing leaps and bounds. She is patient and accommodating, and such a pleasure. I am loving this age.
My favorite development lately is her ability to come up with the most creative, and sometimes creepy, ways of moving about. Sadie decided to skip the traditional route of baby development: rolling from back to front > army crawl on the belly > crawl on hands and knees. She hated being on her belly so much, that it just never happened. Once she figured out how to sit up on her bum, she was set for life. I really didn't think she would ever start moving.
But, this last month she started to figure it out. First, she scooted backwards on her bum- using her hands to push off. Then, she slowly started to scoot forwards- using her legs in a very strange, octupus-type fashion. (Think: Ursula from The Little Mermaid, with her ungulating tentacles and pudgy arms moving her across the deck of the ship during the wedding crasher scene.) She is disturbingly flexible, in this way. She soon realized that she could push all the way through the center, straddle split to her belly and push back to her bum again. She started using this technique to retrieve items to play with. Then, she started to scoot forward in the splits with one leg forward and one leg back. (Think: fat, chubby inchworm.) She also started to do a "peg leg" scoot with one leg out to the side to steady herself, and her fat, little hands pulling her weight forward. Now, imagine all of these strange modes of transportation in super fast motion, which is what happened after she gained traction of the past week or so. (Think: a super cute version of that creepy girl from The Ring.)
And, that's where Sadie is these days. She has gotten pretty darn fast at moving. So, we have to keep an eye on her. But, really she's not that fast at all because her movement is restricted by the fact that she refuses to lift her bum off the ground. Although, the last couple of days I have seen a very tentative splayed out, froggy hands-and-knees crawl, and even a hands and feet monkey walk stance. When she starts moving normally, I will be so sad!
She is such a funny, happy girl. She gets a huge smile when she sees any one of us. And when she's extra happy, she will laugh and laugh and shake her head around. She makes us all smile,
Sadie lately:
growl- She is often growling these days. You hear it often when she is absentmindedly exploring. She will be scooting about the house looking for items to play with, with a low growl in her throat like some sort of creature.
in her mouth- Sadie is always putting things in her mouth. Duh, all babies do that. But, what I love, is that she knows she's not supposed to. So, if I see her suspiciously rolling something around in her mouth, I hold out my hand in front of her pursed lips and say, "Sadie??" And, pfft! She will immediately spit it into my hand with a look of, "Well, you can't blame me for trying."
cuddles- I love cuddling this child. I love it, because she loves it. She could lay in my lap almost all day. And, if I lay down with her on the couch, her left thumb always finds her mouth, and her right hand always floats up to the side of my face and rests there, pressing my cheek into hers. My baby love.
Eliza game- Sadie loves to play games lately. She loves to throw things on the ground and have you pick them up (my favorite...) She loves to knock down towers. She loves to slowly tear paper up. She loves to take things in and out of containers. And, she LOVES to play games with Eliza. The "Eliza Game" is when Sadie sits on my lap, with her back to the room, while Eliza runs into the other room to hide. When I yell, "Eliiiiizaaaa!" Sadie will immediately start turning her head this way and that and cracking up with anticipation, especially when she hears Eliza's footsteps coming close. Unfortunately, by the time Eliza actually reaches her and she gives her a huge, uncomfortable hug, Sadie is totally over it. But, she's always up to play the game again once she is free from her grip.
food- Sadie eats so much food. I know I keep saying this, but I am always so surprised at how much she consumes. I feed her all. day. long. She eats her food and half of Eliza's, and still bangs her hand on the table for more. Lately she loves cut up berries, and stuffs whole fistfuls into her mouth. This is the lovely age where they are constantly and completely filthy.
happy gestures- She has the cutest happy gestures. When she is excited about something, she will shake her head back and forth and laugh. When she sees something she wants, like food on the table, her arms will flap up and down or they will hover to the side and she will roll her wrists over and over in anticipation. And, when she's happy and content, she will rub her belly and tug on her shirt. When she is feeling love, she will wrap her arm around yours and hold you in a most precious embrace. She is everything I imagined in a baby.
Eliza, Eliza. This girl has brought so many new and unexpected challenges into our lives lately. She tests me every single day, bursting with an amount of energy that can seem both obnoxious and absolutely endearing. She has so much love to give, and gives it freely. She is smart and creative, and endlessly curious. Not a day goes by that I am dumbfounded by a particular question or observation, and proud of every detail she hungrily digests.
But, with all that thirst for life comes a barrel of emotions that we are all struggling to manage. She has developed a fierce and worrisome jealous streak, to the point that we can hardly all be in the same room together. If any attention is being paid to the baby, she lashes out- either by hitting or hurting the baby, or hitting or hurting Sam and I. Or, simply by doing something ridiculous and obnoxious until we snap. She needs constant one-on-one time, and we just can't give it to her every minute of the day.
On top of that, she has rediscovered the toddler tantrum- which, manifested in a four-year-old, is particularly frustrating. It drives me crazy. And, it's really difficult for me to calm down and breathe enough to look through the screaming and crying and see the root of the problem. The easiest way to calm her down can sometimes just be a hug. But, it's hard to get her to that point.
I recognize that Eliza is a strong-willed and independent child. I also recognize that we are incredibly similar in both of these characteristics. So, I need help. We clash so hard. Sometimes I see myself reacting in ways that are absolutely no better than Eliza, or I see Eliza mimicking reactions I know she has seen from me. And, it's not ok.
I reached out on Instagram and got so many recommendations for resources and tips. I haven't been able to dive in yet, as we have been on vacation for a couple of weeks. But, I am so grateful and look forward to the help! Here is a list of reading material that I compiled, if anyone is interested:
-Calm Down Time
-Raising an Emotional and Intelligent Child- John Gottman
-The Whole Brain Child
-The Power of Positive Parenting- Glenn Latham
-Your Defiant Child- Russell Barkley
-Parenting a House United- Nicholeen Peck
-Unconditional Parenting- Alfie Kohn
-The 5 Love Languages of Children
-The Strong Willed Child- John Dobson
-Raising Your Spirited Child- Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
-Positive Discipline for Preschoolers
-Parenting with Love and Logic
-How to Talk so Kids Will Listen
Like I said, I haven't personally read any of these yet. But, it looks like a great list! Thanks again for all of you who sent me recommendations.
I did receive one piece of advice from a friend while chatting at the park, that has really stuck with me lately. Children, especially Eliza, need some amount of control over their lives. I should know. I need to control every single aspect of my life, to the point that it can be debilitating in some ways. Eliza has an extremely difficult time when she is asked to give up control over something, whether it's a change in activity, a decision about what to eat or wear, or being told that she cannot have something that she wants. My friend's advice was to give Eliza control, in small doses. If it's time to get ready for bed, offer her a choice of activity, "You need to get your pjs on, brush your teeth, and read a book. Which would you like to do first?" Basically, she needs to feel as if she has some control over her life, and giving it in small doses gives me the power to control it. Simple, but effective.
After thinking about this advice for a time, I had this major realization. I go through parenting under the impression that I am losing control to my children and that they disrupt my routine. But, Eliza must feel the exact same way. Eliza, even as a four-year-old, has developed her own routine in her little head and her parents are constantly taking that control and disrupting that routine. I am disrupting her routine. That would be so difficult for such a young mind to understand. And, I feel like I get why she is so frustrated lately. I just need to figure out how to make it better. I know the first step is to make more special alone time with her- I just have to make it happen.
But, let's move on. I love this child so much. She is such a beautifully interesting little human lately. Let's celebrate that:
"I love you" - Eliza is really good at communicating her love. It makes me so happy to hear her quiet statement of, "Mama, I love you," as we are wandering the grocery store. This statement is proclaimed when she is joyously happy, mildly content, and gleefully giddy. It's also her way of saying, "Thank you" when she gets something she wants. I hope she never stops saying it.
Jobs- Eliza is very interested in jobs lately. She is fascinated by Sam's job, and loves to visit him at work- especially because she usually gets snacks, iPad time at his desk, and a quick trip to Chinatown. But, one of my favorite moments is when she's splashing around in the tub when Sam gets home from work, and the first thing she asks him is, "What did you design at work today? Can I see what you designed today?" She also loves to refer to school as her job. And, she proudly tells people that my job is to dance- which makes me beam.
Tap Shoes- I gave Eliza a pair of tap shoes for her birthday. They were actually an old pair that a parent of one of my students gave me when Eliza was a baby. She has been coveting the big girls' tap shoes for years. And, at 7am on birthday morning, it sure felt like a huge mistake. But, it is pretty cute to see her doing a jog to "Black Jack David" in our living room with that huge smile, and her little bob whipping around her face.
"It's not fun!"- When Eliza doesn't want to do something, she yells and screams and cries. And through that mess of emotions you hear, "This is not fun! This is boring! I will never, ever, ever clean my room! This is not happening!" Those are some of my favorites. It's hard not to laugh, because if she catches you laughing she totally loses it.
"You are not getting a Mother's Day present!" - Speaking of cleaning her room, Eliza is learning to dish out some threats of her own. I try not to threat, but it's such an easy default to fall back on. It never works, really. But, leading up to her birthday, Eliza got so terrible and nasty. Like, out of control. So, of course, I threatened that she wouldn't get any birthday presents. So one day, while she was supposed to be cleaning her room, she yells out "You are NOT getting a Mother's Day present! NEVER, EVER AGAIN!" Ha!
Budding Scientist- Eliza loves nature. She has been going to a little, local nature school that my friend teaches once a week. And, she loves Teacher Sara. So much so that she has decided that she wants to be a science teacher when she grows up. She loves to dissect flowers from the garden, collect nature treasures, and play with bugs she finds on walks. For her birthday, she got a little microscope and a box to organize her treasures. She loves it all so much. She immediately organized them by type: brown rocks, colorful rocks, seashells, flowers and plants, "sea creatures that used to be alive," shiny things, and "glassable" objects. I love this side of her because it came so naturally, and wasn't necessarily something I pushed on her. Let's be honest, by kids will all be forced to love fairytales and dance. But, this little girl who likes to see how bugs move, find the seeds inside the ovary of a flower, and learn the mechanics of a catapult- that wasn't from me.
Budding Engineer- She also got her first real Lego sets for her birthday. I was so impressed with how much time she will spend playing with those, even following the detailed instructions with quiet patience. She is endlessly interested in how things work. When we drive anywhere, much of the time is spent with her asking one question after another about how things work, what things are made of, how something got to be, where something came from. I love it when I can tell her little wheels are turning and she spouts out a bit of her own understanding in such a beautiful and matter of fact way. For example, we had a recent discussion about how it may be easier for her to get her ice cream in a cup instead of cone- mostly because I didn't want to pay the extra, and every cone she has ever had has been a huge mess. So, after thinking for a bit, she said, "Well, they should just make a cone that has bigger sides and not a point at the bottom." And I said, "You mean a cone shaped like a cup?" "Yeah!" I know the idea seems small, but it seemed so big and mighty coming from such a small girl.
Patterns- Eliza loves to color "patt-awins." It's interesting because up until very recently, Eliza has not been interested in coloring books. As a toddler, she would get frustrated with them knowing that she couldn't stay inside the lines. She would always ask me to color them, and preferred a blank sketch book. Now, she LOVES to color. I even got her one of those grown up coloring books with the super detailed drawings, and she will sit there for an hour coloring with her big box of pencils. She loves the detailed pages because they usually have stripes or swirls where she can create patterns of alternating color schemes. "Blue, Green, Pink, Purple... Now, we have to do Blue again, Mama."
Games- She loves to play games lately. We don't have a lot of room for board games or things, but she has a couple that she is always pulling out and wanting me to to teach her. We also have several games we play while eating dinner, or meandering on walks. The "Favorite Game" involves me asking her questions about what her favorite things are, and she answers them. I have recorded it a couple of times, and need to do more, because I love hearing her favorites change over time. Lately she made up a "Rhyme Game" in which one of us says a word, and the other one has to say a word that rhymes. I was pretty impressed by that one. And, when we are together as a family, she likes to play "Highs and Lows" in which we each say what our highest and lowest point of the day was. We always have to go in a certain order so that Eliza goes last. I love this one because it actually really helps her to process her day. We talked about something difficult that may have happened, and how we can "try harder tomorrow." She loves this game.
Sadie Lee is ten months! She hit her ten month mark while we were on vacation, so I am little late in celebrating this one. Ten months seems so, so big. Ten months is almost a year! My sense of age is so warped this time around, since Sadie has developed so differently than Eliza. Sadie is still not crawling or standing, and so I still see her as this tiny baby. But, she really is so close to a year! I am in no rush to force her to get moving, since she is perfectly happy and content twirling and scooting around on her bum in about a six inch radius. It's amazing how much work you can get done when you are still able to sit a baby in one spot, while only periodically tossing toys at her to play with.
Sadie has developed some separation anxiety the past few weeks, though. Which, you know, is a huge bummer. She's perfectly fine until I walk in the room and then she is reminded that the motherwoman is in the house and the motherwoman absolutely must be the one to hold her at all times. But, it's not nearly as bad as it could be, so I'm only slightly complaining.
She is such a sweet babe. She brings the calm and still into our chaotic lives. She is forever willing to cuddle, and seeing that tiny lollipop fist while she sucks her thumb will make your ovaries explode. She is just the definition of "baby."
Sadie lately:
scrunchy smile- We are loving that scrunchy nose smile. with the spiky teeth. It reminds me so much of Baby Eliza, but with it's own flavor of cuteness. Things that make her smile: Eliza being silly, food, when she finally sneaks the phone to play with, ripping up paper, tickles, laughing, when I put on a hat or sunglasses, cuddles...
eating- This baby loves to eat. She is eating me out of house and home. Like, seriously, she eats more than Eliza does now. I will cut up some food for her, and find myself replenishing five times more than I had anticipated. She chugs those puree pouches so fast, I have to stop buying them. She is a carnivore- meatballs, salami, turkey. And, will never turn down cheese or eggs. She loves fruit- grapes, strawberries, watermelon, and pineapple. But, if you want her to go for the veggies, you have to hide them in her purees. She gets so excited when she knows it is time for a meal!
pinches- All babies have a security thing right? Like, a blanket or toy. Or, maybe they like to stroke your hair, or hold your hand. Well, Sadie has security pinches. Anytime she is remotely content, she has this habit of pinching and playing with your skin. I literally have bruises all over my arms. She will take her tiny thumb and fore finger and just roll your skin. She has an insanely good grip, so it seriously kills. She will also pinch the tendons on your neck- which, you know, is super comfortable.
bum-scuttle-split-and-reach- I posted a video of this, and it is hilarious. Sadie still doesn't like to be on her tummy, and has no interest in scooting or crawling in that position. Nor, does she like to stand or walk along the furniture. But, she has become incredibly skilled at getting what she wants while on her bum. She uses her legs and feet to sort of spider and scuttle forward towards the object, then she will straddle through the splits, sometimes almost to her belly to reach and reach until she her little hand can drag the toy back. She can sometimes even push herself back up through the splits and on to her bum. She can also form several flexible positions with her legs such as a straddle or scorpion, to maneuver her facings and reachings. These are some some serious feats of gymnastics. But, she can only move a few inches or so before she sort of gives up and calls out for help.
bird squawks- I know I have mentioned these before. The squawking has been occurring for months and months. But, lately, it is sort of out of control. She is SO LOUD. If we are in a large space, like the grocery store, I can totally tune it out. I am so used to it. But, I have started to notice that every one jumps or comments on how she sounds like a bird. Sometimes, not in the friendliest way. Ha! Get over it, she's a baby. It is definitely her most effective form of communication.
hand claps- Sadie can add hand claps to her list of talents. If she sees someone clapping, she loves to clap along. It's perfectly cute.
shake shake- When Sadie gets really excited, or thinks something is really hilarious, she shakes her head back and forth and laughs. She then shakes her entire body, and you better hold on tight or she will shake right out of your lap. It's so funny!
