three months.

Baby girl is three months! These pictures make me laugh. She spent the entire time trying to get to her toes, and so she kept curling forward and falling over. Also, here's Eliza in the same outfit at two months! Heart eyes!

So, this post is a little late. It's honestly been a rough month around here. Mostly, It;s because I jinxed us and bragged so much about how Sadie has only needed to wake up once a night since birth. Well, a few weeks ago she decided that her goal in life was to double her weight in the shortest amount of time imaginable. And so, baby girl now wakes up no less than five times a night and nurses like her life depends on it. Oy! These babies. As a result, I have become a sleep-deprived monster of a mom and Sadie has developed some deliciously chubby cheeks and thighs.

I am my worst self when I don't get enough sleep. Like, the worst. I have been short and snappy, and not at all loving. And then, every night I apologize to Eliza and ask her forgiveness. The other day, we had a terrible morning trying to get out the door to go to preschool. When I picked her up later, we chatted all the way home, where she said, "We had a rough morning." It made me want to cry. But, it also made me happy because I think she is starting to recognize these moments. We talk a lot about this stuff, because Eliza is a girl that is full of emotions... as are her parents. And that morning, I feel like she finally voiced her understanding that sometimes we have a rough morning, but we can try and be better tomorrow. I love her.

Sam Gray gave me a gift this weekend. He had a business trip he needed to take to Utah, and thought it would be nice for everyone if Eliza got to go with him. She has had the time of her life on her special trip to Utah, and Sadie and I have spent the last three days bonding in a way that we haven't been able to do so far. She is really starting to be her own little person, and I am so grateful I got to spend some alone time with her. I spent the first day napping multiple times, eating take-out, and watching trash tv (in the middle of the day!) Yesterday, we cuddled all morning, ate pastries for every meal, and wandered the Legion of Honor. I've decided that museum is my new happy place. I haven't been able to go to an art museum and actually wander leisurely alone in so long. It was like coming up for air- the way the light filtered through the rooms, and the perfect quiet that filled each space. The museum is just small enough to feel intimate, like you can possibly know each and every piece as if it was your own. It was like a dream. Sadie let me wander almost every room, until we reached the mummies where she decided quite suddenly that she was done. So, we went outside and sat on the steps, ate a chocolate croissant, looked out on the Golden Gate, and listened to a classical guitarist play. It was happiness.

Sadie also rolled on to her belly this weekend! And also, turn about like a compass. I think that she is flourishing without a certain somebody always poking her in the face all day. Just kidding. She loves Eliza.

Here are a few glimpses of Miss Sadie Lee lately:

chatting, "mommmamamama" - She has become such a chatterbox. She makes the cutest noises, and has started to use very specific sounds in a consistent way. For example, when she wants something but isn't worked up enough to actually cry about it, she calls out "mommmmmamamamom" which seriously sounds like she is calling out "Mama!" It is so crazy, and really sweet. Eliza is pretty convinced that she can talk, and one time I overheard her arguing with her cousin about this matter in the back of the car. And when Sadie's random chattering blurted out a "Mmmhmm!" Eliza went, "See! She said 'Mmmhmm!'"

head to the right- Sadie sleeps in our room, in a rocker next to my bed. I know I should transition her to her crib soon (also in our room), but I am reluctant because she sleeps so well in that rocker. I used to have bounce, rock, dance, and do acrobatics to get Eliza to fall asleep. But, when Sadie is tired, I just lay her in that thing, and stick a pacifier in her mouth. She then immediately settles in, always snuggling her head over her right shoulder in the direction of my bed. It is the cutest thing.

bubble blowing- She went through a phase where she loved blowing bubbles. She makes enough saliva to blow bubbles for ten babies, so it's usually pretty messy. When you blew bubbles back at her, her face would light up.

observer- Sadie is the quiet observer. She sits and watches you, going about your business. She loves to be in the baby carrier with her face uncovered, so she can see the world. Being the second child, I often care for her in steps. If she wakes up from a nap, I let her hang out in her swaddle until she calls out. Then I unwrap her and let her lay on the bed, until she calls out. Basically, I get as much done as I can until she reminds me that she has been pretty chill for awhile and now requires some attention. She's the best. The other day, we were all trying to get ready and get out the door. Sam put her in her carseat and we ran around the house getting dressed and wrangling an overly-dramatic Eliza. When I was finally ready to go, I come in the room to find Sadie sound asleep in her seat, wearing yesterday's pajamas, and plastered in glitter heart stickers. She must have gotten tired of watching us run around.

her smile- I love seeing that smile. I love seeing her face light up when she realizes that it's her turn for some mama time. She loves when you pull her arms up over her head, or when you jiggle her feet. She loves when big sister plays (softly) with her. And, she loves big kisses on the lips.

We love you, Sadie baby.

sister visit.

My sisters came to visit! It was a short visit, but jam-packed with fun. And, the girls were so excited to be together. We even rented a mini van so we could drive together, and listening to the girls chattering in the backseat was one of my favorite parts of the trip. 

When the girls pulled up on that first day, Eliza had already been looking out the window for hours. She immediately dragged Lucy into her room and they played all afternoon. They both compared dress-ups (Lucy packed a few outfits, just in case), played tea party, painted a craft sent by Grandad, and pranced around the house in matching Sofia the First ballgowns. I put together a little bed under Eliza's loft bed for Lucy, piled high with pillows, and they insisted on sleeping together. (Although, Eliza kept rolling around in her sleep and running into piece of furniture, waking her up all night.) 

The next day we hit up the Jelly Belly Factory Tour in Fairfield, and Mrs. Grossman's Sticker Factory Tour- two in one day! Both tours are so much fun, I highly recommend. And both hand out freebies! So, the girls were plastered with stickers and jelly beans by the end of the day. We managed to even fit in a trip to the food trucks at Off the Grid that night, too. Every night this week ended with us rolling those girls into bed, completely exhausted and clutching the days' souvenirs.

Let me just say, kudos to Danielle (the youngest sister) for coming along on a trip that was pretty much planned around all the hopes of dreams of two little girls. But, let's be honest- the Jelly Belly Factory was her request! Because, really, mounds of jelly beans and stickers have always been in the dreams of these three (big) girls...

The next day we spent all morning at Children's Fairyland in Oakland. Eliza and I have a membership to Fairyland, and will for as long as we live in the Bay Area because it is the most magical place ever. It's a tiny amusement park full of rides and places to play, all centered around storybook characters and fairytales. Eliza's favorite are the puppet theater, the Jack and Jill Hill, the Robinson Crusoe Treehouse, the Alice In Wonderland Tunnel, the Jolly Trolly... and pretty much everything. It's such a perfect place for this age. Eliza and I picked out some sparkle fairy wings the week before, and we let the girls wear glitter. They had such a good time, and Eliza loved showing Lucy around.  And, every time we made them take a picture they gave us the cheesiest grins. These girls had me cracking up all week long.

After Fairyland, we decided to brave the impossible and fit in a trip to San Francisco, as well. We wandered Chintown and let the girls pick out a souvenir. Lucy picked out a tiny, purple Pusheen plush, and Eliza asked for a pink "cumbrella" for the entire length of the shops on Grant. After watching her twirl the paper parasol with that little smile, I just had to give in. After Chinatown, we attempted to grab a picture at The Painted Ladies, but Alamo Park was under construction. So, we stopped at Crissy Field to get a good photo in front of the Golden Gate. It was a really great condensed tour of the city sights. Unfortunately, we then got pretty brave and tried to get dinner in the city, as well. We drove to the Mission to grab pizza at Delfina and ice cream at Bi-Rite. Both were delicious, but somewhat tainted by the multiple melt-downs by pretty much everyone. Whoops. Next time, we grab a Hot 'n Ready on the way home, and go to bed. Let me just say, the wait staff at Delfina were so nice and helpful, even though pretty much all the guests were giving us super dirty looks. And, when Lucy smacked her head on the table at Bi-Rite, an employee brought her an ice pack and a smile. Lovely people!

On our last full day, we had plans to go to Muir Woods. But, it rained all day. Maybe we really did need to take the day off and let the girls (and the adults) recover. But, I was bummed that they didn't get to see the Redwoods. We played inside, and Sam took the girls to Cheeseboard for lunch so we could hang out at the shops on 4th Street for a bit. We browsed the stationary, and art supplies. Desi parked herself in the paper shop for a good fifteen minutes winding all of the music boxes, and called out the shop attendant when one of the operas was mislabeled. We window shopped all the pretty things, and walked home with a bag full of pastries. 

That night, Sam took Lucy and Eliza to our church campout. They had such a great time, and all of my friends kept saying that a "mini-Roxie" was running around. With all those curls, my niece really does look more like me than my own daughter. While the girls were gone, we got a friend to come sit with Sadie. We got dressed up, covered ourselves in glitter, and hit The Church of 8 Wheels to rollerskate. The best place for a night out- it's a roller disco in an old church in San Francisco. I've decided that a sister date needs to happen every single trip now. And, it should most likely always involve glitter... oh, and slurpees. After downing slurpees and McDonald's on the way home (the only places open after 10pm in Berkeley), we were wired and stayed up watching tv all night. And had one blissful night in which we could go to the bathroom without tip-toeing around little sleeping girls. (Our one and only bathroom is a jack and jill between our two bedrooms.)

We had such a great time with the girls here. Sadie was so sweet and accommodating most of the time, and if you look hard enough you can see her little lump in all the pictures. She was happy to go along for the ride. The last time my sisters came to visit was when Eliza was a newborn. So, this was a special trip and some much needed sister time. It was also so fun to see Eliza get to share her space with her cousin. She has been talking about Lucy every day since they left, groaning "I wish Lucy was here." 

Love you, girls!