vieques.

I was reviewing some old posts and realized that I never posted this one! This was the second half of my review of Vieques from a long time ago. (The first half is here.) It was fun looking back at this beautiful place, and I would love to put my plug in again for this amazing island! So, as promised:

If you ever find yourself in Vieques, Puerto Rico:

Travel-
1. JetBlue- had great deals from NYC. But, I would just recommend scouting tickets for awhile until you see something cheap. We flew around $250 each, round trip. I also recommend traveling during non-peak times of the year- because travel, accommodations, and food are significantly cheaper. Hurricane season is officially June 10- November 30. We flew mid-November, which we were told was a perfect time to come because the rates were going to jump within the next couple of weeks. And, since it was the end of hurricane season, we had no threat of storms but enjoyed mostly warm, overcast days- no sunburns!

2. Al's Cab Service (San Juan)- You will fly into San Juan, Puerto Rico- and so you must find transportation to get to Vieques. I have friends that have taken a small plane to the island directly from the airport, which can save time (only a 20 minute ride). But, it costs much more than a cab- so be prepared. We found Al from other reviews online. He is a sweet Puerto Rican man who taxis back and forth from San Juan to the ferry at Fajardo. The cab takes about 1-1 1/2 hours. Al only charges $60, and his number is 787-590-9001.

3. Ferry- The ferry only costs $2/person, and takes about 75 minutes. Don't worry, they play movies. Try and plan your flight arrival and cab ride according to the ferry schedule, because there is not much to do or see at the ferry port. 

4. Car Rental- You will need to rent a car on the island. That's half of the fun. It has to be an all-wheel drive, Jeep-type vehicle. The roads to get to the beaches are bumpy and partially overgrown by jungle. There are plenty of muddy puddles to speed through, so Sam was in heaven. You can drive right up to the beaches, too. There are plenty of car rentals, and most of them only rent these types of vehicles. We had a Jeep Cherokee, but I would shoot for an older Jeep Wrangler if you can find one. The new Jeep Wranglers would feel really bulky. Just Google Vieques rentals, and find the best car for the best deal. Many of them will help you get too and from the ferry, as well. And who doesn't love sandy feet on the dash, and wind blowing through your salty hair...

Hotel-
1. Villa Venti- These tower lofts are every minimalist designer's fantasy. They are located way up on a hill and, even though you are two minutes from town, when you look out your window all you see is green, lush jungle and the ocean on the horizon. The home was designed by John Hix, and entirely built of concrete. The house flows seamlessly into its surroundings. (Which could totally not be your thing- you shower in the open air, and the wildlife can crawl in and out of your open windows.) The owners are so friendly, and might even invite you to dine with them- one of them is a professional chef! 

Eats-
Honestly, Vieques isn't known for it's food. We were warned of this, but still surprised when we found out how true it was. We packed most of our lunches with food from the grocery because there are no restaurants near the good beaches. (The grocery stores are not super great, either. You will be hard-pressed to find good produce- it's mostly a lot of junk food.) But, we would eat out for dinner. We hit up some seriously sad places, before finally getting some good recommendations from the hotel owners.

1. El Quenepo- The best food on the island (besides our dinner at Villa Venti). It is a bit pricey- but completely worth it. Basically everything was amazing. We didn't find it until our last night, and would have eaten there every night had we known.

2. Island Adventures- This place offers BioBay tours, but it's also a pretty good restaurant. You'll have to try the traditional Puerto Rican dish called "mofongo." We liked their version the best- get the seafood!

3. Bananas- This place had decent "American" food, for if you just want something familiar.

Beaches-
So, this is why you want to take this trip. Like I've said before- the beaches here are a little more difficult to access. Which is great because then they aren't crowded. In fact, the majority of the beaches we went to were literally empty. It was like having our own private island!

Unfortunately, I never wrote down the descriptions of the beaches. Not every beach is created equally though, so I really recommend talking to the local shop owners. We basically hit almost every one, and most of them were just unbelievable. Certain beaches were better for snorkeling, though. Off the top of my head, we loved- Navio Beach, Pata Prieta, and Green Beach.

Extras-
1. Bio Bay Tour- You HAVE to do this. No question. It doesn't matter how much it costs. It was the most amazing experience. It is pricey, but there really is no way you can do it by yourself. We tried to plan out a night where we rented our own kayak and took it out in the bay. But, it would have been too difficult to do it by ourselves at night. 

I promised, it will be worth it- the darkest water that shimmers and glows as your kayak glides through the night. Your paddle sparkles as it cuts, and fish light up as they dart back and forth. Just the most magical thing.

2. Snorkeling- We rented the gear, but didn't take any tours. We prefer to explore on our own- we saw so many amazing things, and even got to see a sea turtle!

3. Jungle Roads- Spend some time driving around the bumpy, jungle roads. The island has such a fascinating history hidden under all of that vegetation. We saw old Navy bunkers, poking out of the jungle like some sort of Dharma structure from Lost. There were crumbling colonial sugar mills overgrown with vines, and the Fuerte de Vieques standing tall on the hill. There were wild horses wandering lazily with birds perched on their backs, and a sunbleached skeleton of a church in a field of seagrass. It really is just a mystery of an island.

Oh, Vieques was so dreamy!

Sam and I are making plans for our next big trip. We figure it won't be for another year or so, perhaps a second babymoon? 

motherhood.

I had a friend find out she was pregnant, and it came as quite a surprise. She is struggling with a pretty intense first and second trimester, a whirlwind of emotions and plenty of "morning" (read: all day) sickness. She told me she was dealing with some depression and having trouble even accepting that she was pregnant.

She said she was having a hard time figuring out what motherhood was going to mean to her.

Every woman has different experiences when it comes to their pregnancy and delivery and parenthood. But, one of the most comforting things is knowing that many of us have actually all felt the exact things. I can remember a full 6 weeks where I felt the a little of what she is feeling now. It was during my first trimester. We were living in New York, and I had just quit a pretty fast-paced job because I was pregnant and decided that I had no desire to get up and go to work anymore. Which was ok, except that then, I found myself sitting in a very dark and quiet apartment by myself all day. And then...the "morning" (yes, all day) sickness hit and didn't let up for weeks. I sat on the couch and watched Netflix all day and ate junk and just felt depressed and incredibly guilty. So much guilt. I felt like I should be happy and excited. And, I was- I was so, so happy to be getting ready for this baby. But, that was just the thing. I wasn't getting ready. I was laying around the house and crying all day and eating awful food and all I could think about was how I was supposed to incubate this tiny baby in my body- while, at the moment, all I was doing was was sitting on the couch and totally destroying my quote/unquote "vessel." 

But, it went away. 

Pregnancy is pretty nuts. I loved how my friend described it- she said she didn't realize how abstract it was. And, it's true. You know there is something in you, but you don't see it showing, and you can't feel it moving yet- the only signs of this baby are the awful, awful side effects. It's just such an intangible thing until you are actually holding that babe in your arms.

You have to remember that your hormones wreak havoc on your body and your mind during pregnancy, and even after. But it goes away, and that haze will lift. I'm not saying that is exactly what happens to everyone. But, for me- the sickness disappearing allowed me to finally pick myself up off the ground. It taught me a lot. It taught me that whenever I start feeling in a funk- the first thing I should do is go outside. Get out of the house. Get some fresh air. It also taught me that if I don't make it outside that day- it's OK. I shouldn't feel guilty about it. 

Guilt and self-doubt are my biggest enemy. But, time after time during my pregnancy and now, as a parent, I am constantly reminded that my Heavenly Father does not want me to feel that way. This scripture in 2 Timothy always comes to mind: 

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

This is what I have to remind myself every time I worry that the person standing next to me is judging me for the the fact that Eliza's not wearing a sweater and it just got a bit chilly out. Or, the feelings that crowded me while I watched the nurses come in and out of the office to re-weigh her twice during her last appointment because she was showing at -3% on the weight curve. I have to remind myself that the people around me, more often than not, aren't out to make me doubt myself as a mother. And, if they are- it doesn't matter. Because I am Eliza's mom and a mother's intuition will always be the best thing a baby can have. I am good at being Eliza's mom simply because I am Eliza's mom. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't believe that we shouldn't listen to doctors or read up on parenting. I do plenty of that. But, I can only do this if I have confidence in myself as a mother, first. Trust me, you don't want to be smacked over the head with list after list of required developmental milestones without first feeling like you are succeeding as a parent. Is your child healthy and happy? Then, you are doing it, lady. You got it. 

It's along the lines of "You can only help others to be happy if you are happy with yourself." If I know I am a good mom, I can go out and be one. 

I sometimes find myself afraid of failing, or afraid that I am not doing enough. But, here's the thing: I spend my days raising a beautiful child so that she can live a beautiful life. I am doing exactly what I should be doing! And, it makes me happy.

Yes, I am happy! My life is good. But, sure it's not easy. I guess that's what is so great about it. No true achievement comes easy. Nothing easy gives you that absolute sense of accomplishment as being a mother. My child eats a Cheerio and I dance around the room- because I taught her to do that. She used to be a cute, little lump of a baby- and now she crawls around the room and eats Cheerios. I taught her that. And when I dance around the room and cheer for her, she smiles and giggles and she knows that I am proud of her. That, my dear, is a great accomplishment.

There are some days that I just want to throw her back. And some days that I squeeze her so hard she lets out a painful yelp. 

I always have people ask me how motherhood has changed my life. I've been thinking about the answer to that a lot lately, because it's really hard to put into words. They told me I would be tired, but I never understood it. Not until one night when I heard her crying for the millionth time and I started crying myself because I suddenly realized that I will never. sleep. again. They told me I would love her, but it's a completely new sensation. After the longest, hardest day- my heart still wants to explode when she burrows into my shoulder, and I pour her tired, little body into her crib at night. 

I love her so much. Each and and every day I love her more and more. I am literally developing a relationship with this tiny girl. We get to know each other every day. Lately, Sam and I have been calling her our "little buddy." Before I loved her as my newborn, tiny, helpless thing- now, I love her as my little buddy who likes to try new things and accompanies me on my adventures. It's a new and special kind of love.

This friend of mine that has been struggling so much wrote me a really nice note. She said she appreciated that I made motherhood look normal and happy. Thank you, so much. I am normal and happy, because being a mom is normal and happy. 

To those who are worried or scared or doubting themselves as soon-to-be or current moms- Don't.

You were made for it, ladies. 

baker beach.

So, California just has to be the best place on earth. I mean- look at this. It's February! The only problem is, you have to time things just right and be ready to be spontaneous. Today we took the babies to Baker Beach because someone was smart enough to look at the weather forecast and realize that it was going to be an absolutely perfect day today- followed by an entire week of Bay Area winter rain (which rarely happens these days). So, we threw on our swimsuits and headed for the most photogenic beach on the coast. I mean, sand, waves, and the Golden Gate Bridge. You can't beat it.

It was perfect and sunny, and the babies stuffed their faces with sand to their hearts content. We are all looking forward to those sand filled diapers....

Stephen spent much of the afternoon carefully collecting rocks in a bucket, and patiently allowing the other babies to throw them all out of the bucket. Eliza would secretly take little nibbles of sand, while Nolan grabbed huge globs and crawled around with a sand beard on his face. They were all so happy to be in the sun, and Eliza kept laughing hysterically for no reason at all. I love the Bay Area! It's where all my dreams come true.

I love watching these babies play. They each have their own unique personalities and they are growing and changing all of the time. Even though they are all different ages, they play together and help each other. Sometimes there are tears and crazy, but most of the time they are  happy and excited to see each other. Eliza is so lucky to have such handsome, little boyfriends! 

Thanks for a beautiful day, Baker Beach! Ladies, why is it that we are not here every day of the year??

tea for two.

This weekend I helped host a baby shower for a good friend. She has two little boys, and it was going to be her first baby girl- so we decided that it needed to be the girliest, little tea party we could think of. We spared no sugar!

It's a good thing that I am a hoarder of pretty things, because it came together so easily. I pulled out all of the vases and bottles from our wedding reception, vintage books, and my collection of tea cups. (I swear I am 26 going on 90.) I wanted it to be just a happy, little garden tea party. This was some of the inspiration I pulled together. 

I found this tutorial for a paper flower arch and made it my own. I knew that Eliza's schedule wasn't going to allow me very much time for anything too complicated, so the coffee filter flowers would be a super, easy and fun project. I made all of the flowers in like an hour, during her nap. The whole thing cost me $1 for the filters, and I used some tissue paper and twine that I already had. I dyed half of the flowers using an old set of Crayola watercolors. The arranging of the swag took awhile- mostly because it kept looking so wonky and I would have to walk away from it and come back to shift everything around a bit. 

Tyrah pulled together some amazing treats, and since it was a breakfast shower she went all out with the croissants. YES. I love baked goods in the morn. We also set up a tea station, with five kinds of tea, peach honey sticks, and clove candy stir sticks. And, each guest could leave with a little box of tea for home.

Our baby mama was too cute, and it was so much fun seeing how happy she was with all of the girly sweetness. My favorite part was watching her get all dressed up for the photo booth. I set up a bunch of my vintage hats and jewelry in the sunroom for a quick photo shoot. Every girl loves playing dress-up!

Leslie, you are darling. And I know that baby will be darling, too. Happy day!

tomales bay.

For President's Day, our friends invited us to have oysters at Point Reyes. We were totally clueless, thinking we were going to a restaurant they liked or something. But, we totally couldn't expect this- thanks for treating us to the best day! We drove out to the Tomales Bay Oyster Company- it was perfectly sunny, and we were all loving the cold wind whipping through our hair.

So, Christyn and Stephen were total pros. They brought cheese and homemade bread, grapes, strawberries, and San Pellegrino. First, you buy a huge bag of fresh oysters from this huge stand. Then you set up shop on one of the picnic tables, each with a grill and a fat slab of wood block with a horseshoe nailed to it. They taught us how to shuck the oysters with these funny gloves and a special knife. You season it with spices, garlic, and lemon- then you throw 'em on the grill or just eat it raw. SO GOOD. I might have been a little skeptical about eating them raw, but the grilled ones were just about the tastiest things I've ever eaten. The boys each ate like 10 of them. Between those, the snacks, and the grilled veggies, I think we were all about to pop after. Plus, nothing tastes better than fresh air and food.

Oh, and for dessert they carved out oranges, filled them with brownie batter, and stuck them on the coals. What? Yes, it was as good as you're thinking.

Eliza was so happy and content all day. She snacked on everything, and chilled in her puff coat. It was a great day. I can't stop smiling just thinking about it...

nine months.

Eliza is 9 months old. That's 3/4 of a year! Nothing new or huge happened this month, except that I feel that Eliza is suddenly way too grown up. I mean, she was already standing and crawling and babbling last month- but, this month she is suddenly faster and stronger and smarter. It's too much! Everything just looks and sounds so much more "kid-like" and I can't keep up.

Stop growing, girl!

Now that she's older, our days are much more structured. I'm just starting to feel the "not enough hours in the day" mama stress. Between meals, naps, play, park, walks, appointments, and errands- I feel like our day just disappears. Also, I took a position teaching a few classes at Montclair Dance Academy, and I am absolutely loving it. It has been the perfect amount of time, with some really great students. And, it is giving Eliza a chance to be away from me for one afternoon a week. Every mother is different, but for me this was a hard decision to make. We are together all day every day. To some people that sounds crazy. And trust me, on some days it is crazy. But, I'm glad that we are doing this. It gives me a creative outlet, and Eliza gets to hang out at our friend's house all afternoon.

She is doing surprisingly great, by the way. Amanda can always make Eliza happy. Once, when Eliza was like a month old, Amanda came over one afternoon- she made my bed (at least the sheets were washed!) and rocked Eliza for like an hour. She didn't cry once for her the whole time, and this was back in the day when E literally never. stopped. crying. (Literally, not figuratively.) I'm grateful to have such magical friends who can keep my babe happy. And, who have cute baby friends and loads of great toys!

At the end of the day, I pick up my little one and take her home to put her to bed. I don't know what our future holds for us, but I just can't imagine being away from this girl for longer than a few hours on a Tuesday afternoon. It just goes too fast. Eliza, I love you, but if you don't slow down I just might have to lock you away. So, please stop growing up, and don't you DARE take your first steps when I'm not there! My mama-heart couldn't handle that.

Eliza at nine months:
-sitting, standing, crawling- and she's FAST.
-walks along the couch and when you hold her hands
-babbling sounds conversational
-two bottom teeth, and two fangs
-loves her baths in the big tub
-teeny, tiny girl- weighing in at 14 lb 5 oz.
-just got put on a high-fat diet- lucky girl!
-waves "hello" at her own face
-makes funny sniffy faces
-still our outdoors adventure girl
-had one random week where she was heart-warmingly cuddly
-has "stations" in the house where she returns to play
-loves banging things, and pulling things out
-only wants to feed herself
-loves bread, bread, and more bread
-pretty adventurous in trying new foods
-but, I have to be really creative to get her to actually stop and eat
-such a happy and giggly girl
-really good in public- loves people watching
-loves older babies and kids
-her first ventures into day-time babysitting have been a success!
-always bonking her head (poor girl)
-little lounger
-she's really good at communicating her needs
-loves chasing and being chased
-big toothy, crooked grin
-so easy to get this girl to laugh these days- we are loving it!

dolores park.

So, a couple of my friends and I have made a goal to "go" somewhere at least once a week. It's not that we don't get out- we are park hopping all day, taking the babes on hikes, and knocking out as many bakeries and ice cream shops as we can. Basically our days look like this:

Nap Time.
"Totland in 5? Ok, see you there."
Nap Time.
"Farmer's Market for ice cream in 5? See you there!"

I love that you can walk pretty much anywhere in Berkeley, or at the most a 5 minute drive. But, we realized we haven't been taking advantage of the Bay Area as much as should. So, we are going to take mini trips to San Francisco and other areas to try out new parks and museums- and of course, they might be chosen based on the local eats. We tend to eat a lot. (When people come to visit, I have every meal planned out. But, not much in between.)

Last week we went to the playground at Dolores Park in San Francisco. Sam and I had spent time at the park before, and explored the Mission. But, for some reason I didn't even notice the playground. It is probably the coolest park I have ever seen, and you can't beat the view. The babies spent the morning crawling all over, climbing the structures, and chasing pigeons. The play structures are so well-designed, and they have these neat musical installations in the tot area. The big kid section has huge slides and crazy things to climb. And, I liked that the park was covered in the bouncy rubber, instead of messy sand and wood chips. Except that it had just rained, so the babies got pretty soaked from crawling around.

Any other Bay Area recommendations? We're feeling pretty adventurous.