Sadie baby is another month older, and only getting cuter. I can't even. I really can't. I'm really obsessed with this child lately. Smother Mother status.
She has just blossomed these last few weeks. Her personality is sparkling, and her list of talents is growing leaps and bounds. She is patient and accommodating, and such a pleasure. I am loving this age.
My favorite development lately is her ability to come up with the most creative, and sometimes creepy, ways of moving about. Sadie decided to skip the traditional route of baby development: rolling from back to front > army crawl on the belly > crawl on hands and knees. She hated being on her belly so much, that it just never happened. Once she figured out how to sit up on her bum, she was set for life. I really didn't think she would ever start moving.
But, this last month she started to figure it out. First, she scooted backwards on her bum- using her hands to push off. Then, she slowly started to scoot forwards- using her legs in a very strange, octupus-type fashion. (Think: Ursula from The Little Mermaid, with her ungulating tentacles and pudgy arms moving her across the deck of the ship during the wedding crasher scene.) She is disturbingly flexible, in this way. She soon realized that she could push all the way through the center, straddle split to her belly and push back to her bum again. She started using this technique to retrieve items to play with. Then, she started to scoot forward in the splits with one leg forward and one leg back. (Think: fat, chubby inchworm.) She also started to do a "peg leg" scoot with one leg out to the side to steady herself, and her fat, little hands pulling her weight forward. Now, imagine all of these strange modes of transportation in super fast motion, which is what happened after she gained traction of the past week or so. (Think: a super cute version of that creepy girl from The Ring.)
And, that's where Sadie is these days. She has gotten pretty darn fast at moving. So, we have to keep an eye on her. But, really she's not that fast at all because her movement is restricted by the fact that she refuses to lift her bum off the ground. Although, the last couple of days I have seen a very tentative splayed out, froggy hands-and-knees crawl, and even a hands and feet monkey walk stance. When she starts moving normally, I will be so sad!
She is such a funny, happy girl. She gets a huge smile when she sees any one of us. And when she's extra happy, she will laugh and laugh and shake her head around. She makes us all smile,
Sadie lately:
growl- She is often growling these days. You hear it often when she is absentmindedly exploring. She will be scooting about the house looking for items to play with, with a low growl in her throat like some sort of creature.
in her mouth- Sadie is always putting things in her mouth. Duh, all babies do that. But, what I love, is that she knows she's not supposed to. So, if I see her suspiciously rolling something around in her mouth, I hold out my hand in front of her pursed lips and say, "Sadie??" And, pfft! She will immediately spit it into my hand with a look of, "Well, you can't blame me for trying."
cuddles- I love cuddling this child. I love it, because she loves it. She could lay in my lap almost all day. And, if I lay down with her on the couch, her left thumb always finds her mouth, and her right hand always floats up to the side of my face and rests there, pressing my cheek into hers. My baby love.
Eliza game- Sadie loves to play games lately. She loves to throw things on the ground and have you pick them up (my favorite...) She loves to knock down towers. She loves to slowly tear paper up. She loves to take things in and out of containers. And, she LOVES to play games with Eliza. The "Eliza Game" is when Sadie sits on my lap, with her back to the room, while Eliza runs into the other room to hide. When I yell, "Eliiiiizaaaa!" Sadie will immediately start turning her head this way and that and cracking up with anticipation, especially when she hears Eliza's footsteps coming close. Unfortunately, by the time Eliza actually reaches her and she gives her a huge, uncomfortable hug, Sadie is totally over it. But, she's always up to play the game again once she is free from her grip.
food- Sadie eats so much food. I know I keep saying this, but I am always so surprised at how much she consumes. I feed her all. day. long. She eats her food and half of Eliza's, and still bangs her hand on the table for more. Lately she loves cut up berries, and stuffs whole fistfuls into her mouth. This is the lovely age where they are constantly and completely filthy.
happy gestures- She has the cutest happy gestures. When she is excited about something, she will shake her head back and forth and laugh. When she sees something she wants, like food on the table, her arms will flap up and down or they will hover to the side and she will roll her wrists over and over in anticipation. And, when she's happy and content, she will rub her belly and tug on her shirt. When she is feeling love, she will wrap her arm around yours and hold you in a most precious embrace. She is everything I imagined in a baby.
This last post is dedicated to my two favorite places on the last two days of our trip. It was the end of the week, when everyone was feeling settled and content. It was really the happiest few days we have had as a family of four.
We found our favorite beach. It's surprisingly a bit of a cruise ship destination, but more calm and relaxing. Buccannos is a restaurant with a beautiful, sandy beach and pool. It used to be attached to a hotel, but the hotel was destroyed during a recent hurricane. You have to pay a small fee to enter, so between the fee and the fact that their are no actual people staying at the hotel, the beach is really just perfect. Also, all the cruise ship people have to head out around 2, and then the beach is virtually empty.
You can order food and have it brought to your chair, and it is surprisingly good and affordable. I ate my weight in nachos, fish tacos, and piña coladas. We saw tons of other kids, and the music playing was fun and not obnoxious. The view was amazing, the water was perfect- need I say more?
We hung out here all day for those last few days. It was a great spot for us to keep track of Eliza, while still letting her play freely. We could also split up easily to spend time with each girl, so that Eliza felt some attention. She loved to jump off the edge so we could catch her, and to doggy paddle around and around the pool. I can't tell you how happy it made me. This was what I had been imagining when we planned this trip.
My favorite part of the entire trip was when we finally got the entire family in the ocean at the same time. The girls were floating freely in their floaties, and we were all just bursting with smiles. Eliza got brave and would float beside me, without me holding on. She had been nervous to get into the ocean until this point, but discovered that she loved the way the waves would gently push her along. Sadie finally decided she loved it, as well, and would rest her head on the edge of her floatie and smile her toothy grin. We laughed and made up silly songs, and just swam around in the sun.
It's also a great spot to snorkel. We saw several colorful fish, a puffer fish, a trumpet fish, and a slow-moving conch. We didn't end up paying to do a snorkel out at the reefs this time, which was a bummer. But, our friends tipped us off to a great spot in front of the Mexican President's home that Sam got to snorkel on the last day we were there. I stayed with the sleeping girls in the car, while Sam snuck around the side in and he said he was blown away by the sea life. The place is empty and unguarded while the President is not visiting, the coral is untouched and healthy.
On one of the last nights, we left the girls with Jen and Jeff and got to stay the night at the hotel from our honeymoon. It was just as beautiful as I remembered. We decided if/when we come back, we are just going to stay there. Playa Azul is peaceful and quiet, but right next door to Buccannos for good swimming and play. They have an amazing breakfast, and the snorkeling is also good. I love that place. It was so nice to be alone. We haven't been alone in a long, long time. And, I think we really needed it.
Life with kids is exhausting, but I'm glad I get to do it with Sam Gray. And, I'm glad we get to do things like this together. I love my little family, and I'm so grateful we are able to travel together and make memories like these. Cozumel will always be my happy place...
These are our friends! I loved their home so much. Sam and I have always talked about taking a sabbatical somewhere like Cozumel, between jobs or something. And, I think I'm convinced now.
This family was so good to us, and I loved hearing about their life in Cozumel. They showed us around town, and helped out in so many ways. They played with Eliza, and held Sadie- even though Sadie suddenly developed separation anxiety. I also loved being able to walk around with locals who spoke the language well, because people would treat us differently. Everyone always assumes I can speak Spanish, and I'm ashamed when I can't. This trip has given me a renewed desire to learn!
They ordered a unicorn cake for Eliza's birthday, that just happened to be the same cake that Eliza had been obsessing over after watching some Pinterest video we found awhile back. On her birthday, we walked over to the town plaza and all the kids played on rollerskates and longboards. We let Eliza ride a Barbie jeep from the kid who was renting them for 15 minute increments. When your time was up, he would come sprinting across the square to grab it from you. Eliza was in heaven, especially when we let her ride with Sadie. Sadie was white-knuckling the car door the entire time, while furiously sucking her thumb.
They took us to some of their favorite beaches. We drove out to the opposite side of the island, where you can find more local-friendly beaches because their are bigger waves and no cruise ships. Eliza collected piles and piles of treasures- coral, shells, seaweed, bottlecaps, flowers. We poked around in the tidepools, watching the tiny hermit crabs and snails. Sam got to board with Jeff, while I cuddled with Sadie in the sand.
One of Eliza's favorite thing to do was ride around in their minivan. Ha! Jen would offer to take Eliza with her while she ran around town picking up kids from their various after-school activities. Eliza was in heaven, eating popcicles in the backseat while watching movies on their DVD player.
Also, Jen booked us massages! We each got a 1-hour massage, and the masseuse came and set up in their home. It was a great massage, and only $25. Crazy cheap.
And, they gave us the best recommendations for food! So, I figure I should return the favor. If you're ever in Cozumel, this is where you should eat:
La Estrella - A Cocteleria, famous for their ceviche. Sam was so, so happy to have endless plates of ceviche on hand. They also had really good grilled fish, and this dish...
Kondesa- We came here thinking it was something else, but was still pleasantly surprised to find this fancy fusion place. It had beautiful outdoor eating, and the food looked like it should be $50 a plate. The fish was perfectly seared, and they had this cheese fondue that is the stuff of Mexican comfort food dreams. Eliza ate nothing but quesadillas and chips for an entire week, by the way.
Del Sur- This Argentinian restaurant used to be a tiny place that only sold empanadas, when we came here for our honeymoon. It is now a much larger, beautiful place that's known for their steaks- but we still feel like the empanadas are the way to go. They are seriously so good. Try the plum, bacon, cheese or the spiced beef. And for dessert, the dulce de leche, chocolate banana, or the cinnamon apple. We came here three times!
Buccannos at Night- This place is the best. The dishes would go for way more in the States, and the service is amazing. We loved the chorizo and parmesan stuffed chicken and the lobster skewers. The restaurant is right on the oceanfront.
Casa Danis- This place is a little more tourist-y, but it's a solid family-friendly option. They have pretty good food, and a good sampling of Yucatán food, along with "regular" Mexican options. Since it's in the main square, you may also get serenaded by strolling musicians or see a performance by some street dancers.
La Flor de Michoacan- Pretty much anytime you pass one of these shops, you should stop in for a paleta. We ate so many of these fresh fruit popcicles. The guava and watermelon were my favorite, and Sam liked the lime. Eliza liked anything that was pink. We would walk down the street, all sweaty and hot, with popicle juice running down our arms, while Sadie squawked from the stroller because she wanted another taste. Delicious!
Taqueria Diaz- The BEST tacos we had, and so cheap! I got three huge pollo, asada, and arrachera tacos all for around $2.
A couple of weeks ago we embarked on our first large-scale family vacation, to beautiful Cozumel, Mexico! Cozumel is an island off the Yucatán Peninsula. Sam and I went to Cozumel for our honeymoon seven years ago, and it has always remained in our minds as absolute paradise. I will be honest and say that we were a little delusional in thinking that we could recreate such a wonderfully relaxing experience by merely returning to the island with our kids in tow. But, after a few days of trial and error, and some help from friends, it ended up being a really great trip full of wonderful memories. So, be patient with me as I attempt to record some real-life and real-great experiences here. Because, we are determined to get this whole "traveling with kids" thing down, and I am looking forward to future trips with the girls!
We flew into Cancún, drove to Playa del Carmen, and took a ferry over to Cozumel. It was the longest day ever. I don't feel like the girls were particularly difficult, but any 12 hour travel day is bound to be terrible. I might consider paying a bit extra to fly directly into Cozumel, or to take the puddle-jumper plane from Cancún. We got to our place pretty late, after stopping by our friend's house for dinner.
These friends, they made this trip. Sam's best friend from high school has a sister who now lives in Cozumel with her husband and kids. Sam was really close with their family growing up. We have been wanting to take this trip for awhile, but just hadn't figured it all out. Last year, I was pregnant and the zeka virus squashed our plans. This year, we were nervous about having two kids to bring along. But, Jen and Jeff convinced us we could do it. They let us borrow their mini van, stroller, snorkeling gear, and anything else we needed. They gave us so many good local recommendations, as they have been living their for over four years now. We spent half the trip staying in their beautiful home, which was honestly way nicer than the condo we had booked for the first half. They have four kids, who were old enough to help with the girls. That first morning, at their place, I woke up to find Eliza playing quietly downstairs with their girls and I almost cried. Is this what the future looks like!? I can't wait.
Jeff helped build this chain of retail shops called Los Cinco Soles in Mexico that offers beautiful hand-crafted artisan goods and jewelry. They build relationships with artisans from several regions throughout Mexico, and bring these items back to the shop. The goods are so beautifully made, and really trump the cheap stuff they sell to the tourists in the cruise ship areas. We bought several things for our home, a pretty doll for Eliza with a traditional Yucatán dress, a hand-painted Nativity set, embroidered dresses for the girls, and a silver ring for me. I very highly recommend you go, if you visit! They have a lovely location on the waterfront, and several in the Cancún airport.
But, let's back it up a bit. We spent the first few days at a condo we booked on Airbnb called Residencias Reef, which is on the south side of the island. The condos are right on the beach, with two beautiful swimming pools. But, it really wasn't the best choice for us. That was our biggest mistake in those first few days. This is what we learned:
1) We had assumed that, with kids, we would want to stay somewhere a little further out of town. We were thinking, quiet, secluded, easy to wrangle the kids. BAD IDEA. It was too quiet and too secluded, and we all went crazy. Eliza had no one to play with, and all the old people gave us dirty looks for being too loud in the pool. She got super clingy and needy, and threw so many terrible tantrums I seriously got to the point where I quite seriously said, "Sam I want to go home. This is not worth it to me."
2) We assumed that we would need two rooms, which is why we ended up at this condo. But, we really didn't. The kids slept fine. So we could have easily stayed at some of the nicer hotels we were hoping for, which only offered one room.
3) We did not want to cook or buy groceries. What were we thinking!? Everything is so cheap there, it's totally not worth renting a condo with a kitchen so you can save money on food. No. When you are hanging out on the beach, the last thing you want to do is wash dishes, eat pb&js or pack the family up to go into town for lunch. We could have been very happy at one of the hotels that offered breakfast and lunch and then, after cleaning up, head into town for dinner every night. That way we could try the local restaurants, but not break up the swim day.
4) Traveling with family, should be "traveling with family friends." Eliza desperately needed someone to play with besides us. We had some really great family time, but it just wasn't enough. I am thinking that when we do a trip like this again, we are going to convince another family with similar age kids to come along so we can trade off and so that the kids can entertain each other. Amiright?? Who wants to come with us!?
After a few sort of terrible days, we managed to figure it all out. I also have to remind myself that those first few days were spent catching up on sleep and getting used to the climate, which would make it difficult for anyone. Later, we found some beautiful beaches that were more active, and easier for kids to play in. And, once we met up more with Jen, Jeff, and their kids, Eliza was so much happier. We really had such a good time, and I really miss it already.
Now that I have spewed out my honest "traveling with kids" vent, let's just chat about how dreamy Cozumel was...
These pictures were all taken at the condo we stayed at. The Caribbean is just as beautiful as you could imagine, with every shade of blue. Our beach was nice and close, but not so nice as others. You could only go in a few feet before it was too rocky to stand. And, funny enough, our old-people condo was surrounded on both side by party hotels that pumped "Cotton-eyed Joe" and club music all night.
But, the pools! They were huge and cool, and had a few different levels that were perfect for Eliza to play on. She could have played in the pools all day long, and pretty much did. I loved watching her with her puddle-jumper floaties and those goggles plastered to her face. She was so happy to be swimming. Sadie took several days to get used to the water. She was hesitant for awhile, but by the end of the trip she would relax in her floaty with her feet up. It was nice to have the pools so close. We would just wake up, swim, nap, swim some more...
I loved seeing all of the colorful buildings, hand-painted signs, and bright murals around town. It was actually the celebration of the 500th anniversary of when the Spanish arrived in Cozumel, so there were several celebrations going on. On the first night we arrived, there were dancers performing in the plaza, wearing costumes from the Yucatán and Jalisco regions. We spent one afternoon walking around town, checking out the shops. I got all tourist-y and paid a ridiculous amount of money to stick my feet in those foot spa tanks. The guy let us split the time for one price, because I really just wanted to try it out. It felt so funny!
(more to come)
Eliza, Eliza. This girl has brought so many new and unexpected challenges into our lives lately. She tests me every single day, bursting with an amount of energy that can seem both obnoxious and absolutely endearing. She has so much love to give, and gives it freely. She is smart and creative, and endlessly curious. Not a day goes by that I am dumbfounded by a particular question or observation, and proud of every detail she hungrily digests.
But, with all that thirst for life comes a barrel of emotions that we are all struggling to manage. She has developed a fierce and worrisome jealous streak, to the point that we can hardly all be in the same room together. If any attention is being paid to the baby, she lashes out- either by hitting or hurting the baby, or hitting or hurting Sam and I. Or, simply by doing something ridiculous and obnoxious until we snap. She needs constant one-on-one time, and we just can't give it to her every minute of the day.
On top of that, she has rediscovered the toddler tantrum- which, manifested in a four-year-old, is particularly frustrating. It drives me crazy. And, it's really difficult for me to calm down and breathe enough to look through the screaming and crying and see the root of the problem. The easiest way to calm her down can sometimes just be a hug. But, it's hard to get her to that point.
I recognize that Eliza is a strong-willed and independent child. I also recognize that we are incredibly similar in both of these characteristics. So, I need help. We clash so hard. Sometimes I see myself reacting in ways that are absolutely no better than Eliza, or I see Eliza mimicking reactions I know she has seen from me. And, it's not ok.
I reached out on Instagram and got so many recommendations for resources and tips. I haven't been able to dive in yet, as we have been on vacation for a couple of weeks. But, I am so grateful and look forward to the help! Here is a list of reading material that I compiled, if anyone is interested:
-Calm Down Time
-Raising an Emotional and Intelligent Child- John Gottman
-The Whole Brain Child
-The Power of Positive Parenting- Glenn Latham
-Your Defiant Child- Russell Barkley
-Parenting a House United- Nicholeen Peck
-Unconditional Parenting- Alfie Kohn
-The 5 Love Languages of Children
-The Strong Willed Child- John Dobson
-Raising Your Spirited Child- Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
-Positive Discipline for Preschoolers
-Parenting with Love and Logic
-How to Talk so Kids Will Listen
Like I said, I haven't personally read any of these yet. But, it looks like a great list! Thanks again for all of you who sent me recommendations.
I did receive one piece of advice from a friend while chatting at the park, that has really stuck with me lately. Children, especially Eliza, need some amount of control over their lives. I should know. I need to control every single aspect of my life, to the point that it can be debilitating in some ways. Eliza has an extremely difficult time when she is asked to give up control over something, whether it's a change in activity, a decision about what to eat or wear, or being told that she cannot have something that she wants. My friend's advice was to give Eliza control, in small doses. If it's time to get ready for bed, offer her a choice of activity, "You need to get your pjs on, brush your teeth, and read a book. Which would you like to do first?" Basically, she needs to feel as if she has some control over her life, and giving it in small doses gives me the power to control it. Simple, but effective.
After thinking about this advice for a time, I had this major realization. I go through parenting under the impression that I am losing control to my children and that they disrupt my routine. But, Eliza must feel the exact same way. Eliza, even as a four-year-old, has developed her own routine in her little head and her parents are constantly taking that control and disrupting that routine. I am disrupting her routine. That would be so difficult for such a young mind to understand. And, I feel like I get why she is so frustrated lately. I just need to figure out how to make it better. I know the first step is to make more special alone time with her- I just have to make it happen.
But, let's move on. I love this child so much. She is such a beautifully interesting little human lately. Let's celebrate that:
"I love you" - Eliza is really good at communicating her love. It makes me so happy to hear her quiet statement of, "Mama, I love you," as we are wandering the grocery store. This statement is proclaimed when she is joyously happy, mildly content, and gleefully giddy. It's also her way of saying, "Thank you" when she gets something she wants. I hope she never stops saying it.
Jobs- Eliza is very interested in jobs lately. She is fascinated by Sam's job, and loves to visit him at work- especially because she usually gets snacks, iPad time at his desk, and a quick trip to Chinatown. But, one of my favorite moments is when she's splashing around in the tub when Sam gets home from work, and the first thing she asks him is, "What did you design at work today? Can I see what you designed today?" She also loves to refer to school as her job. And, she proudly tells people that my job is to dance- which makes me beam.
Tap Shoes- I gave Eliza a pair of tap shoes for her birthday. They were actually an old pair that a parent of one of my students gave me when Eliza was a baby. She has been coveting the big girls' tap shoes for years. And, at 7am on birthday morning, it sure felt like a huge mistake. But, it is pretty cute to see her doing a jog to "Black Jack David" in our living room with that huge smile, and her little bob whipping around her face.
"It's not fun!"- When Eliza doesn't want to do something, she yells and screams and cries. And through that mess of emotions you hear, "This is not fun! This is boring! I will never, ever, ever clean my room! This is not happening!" Those are some of my favorites. It's hard not to laugh, because if she catches you laughing she totally loses it.
"You are not getting a Mother's Day present!" - Speaking of cleaning her room, Eliza is learning to dish out some threats of her own. I try not to threat, but it's such an easy default to fall back on. It never works, really. But, leading up to her birthday, Eliza got so terrible and nasty. Like, out of control. So, of course, I threatened that she wouldn't get any birthday presents. So one day, while she was supposed to be cleaning her room, she yells out "You are NOT getting a Mother's Day present! NEVER, EVER AGAIN!" Ha!
Budding Scientist- Eliza loves nature. She has been going to a little, local nature school that my friend teaches once a week. And, she loves Teacher Sara. So much so that she has decided that she wants to be a science teacher when she grows up. She loves to dissect flowers from the garden, collect nature treasures, and play with bugs she finds on walks. For her birthday, she got a little microscope and a box to organize her treasures. She loves it all so much. She immediately organized them by type: brown rocks, colorful rocks, seashells, flowers and plants, "sea creatures that used to be alive," shiny things, and "glassable" objects. I love this side of her because it came so naturally, and wasn't necessarily something I pushed on her. Let's be honest, by kids will all be forced to love fairytales and dance. But, this little girl who likes to see how bugs move, find the seeds inside the ovary of a flower, and learn the mechanics of a catapult- that wasn't from me.
Budding Engineer- She also got her first real Lego sets for her birthday. I was so impressed with how much time she will spend playing with those, even following the detailed instructions with quiet patience. She is endlessly interested in how things work. When we drive anywhere, much of the time is spent with her asking one question after another about how things work, what things are made of, how something got to be, where something came from. I love it when I can tell her little wheels are turning and she spouts out a bit of her own understanding in such a beautiful and matter of fact way. For example, we had a recent discussion about how it may be easier for her to get her ice cream in a cup instead of cone- mostly because I didn't want to pay the extra, and every cone she has ever had has been a huge mess. So, after thinking for a bit, she said, "Well, they should just make a cone that has bigger sides and not a point at the bottom." And I said, "You mean a cone shaped like a cup?" "Yeah!" I know the idea seems small, but it seemed so big and mighty coming from such a small girl.
Patterns- Eliza loves to color "patt-awins." It's interesting because up until very recently, Eliza has not been interested in coloring books. As a toddler, she would get frustrated with them knowing that she couldn't stay inside the lines. She would always ask me to color them, and preferred a blank sketch book. Now, she LOVES to color. I even got her one of those grown up coloring books with the super detailed drawings, and she will sit there for an hour coloring with her big box of pencils. She loves the detailed pages because they usually have stripes or swirls where she can create patterns of alternating color schemes. "Blue, Green, Pink, Purple... Now, we have to do Blue again, Mama."
Games- She loves to play games lately. We don't have a lot of room for board games or things, but she has a couple that she is always pulling out and wanting me to to teach her. We also have several games we play while eating dinner, or meandering on walks. The "Favorite Game" involves me asking her questions about what her favorite things are, and she answers them. I have recorded it a couple of times, and need to do more, because I love hearing her favorites change over time. Lately she made up a "Rhyme Game" in which one of us says a word, and the other one has to say a word that rhymes. I was pretty impressed by that one. And, when we are together as a family, she likes to play "Highs and Lows" in which we each say what our highest and lowest point of the day was. We always have to go in a certain order so that Eliza goes last. I love this one because it actually really helps her to process her day. We talked about something difficult that may have happened, and how we can "try harder tomorrow." She loves this game.
