half moon bay, part 2.

Before we headed home, we made one last stop at the Fitzgerald Marine Reserve. I have been wanting to come here for awhile because everyone raves about the tidepools. Unfortunately, the best tide would have been at 5am. We considered this, but decided it didn't fit in with our relaxed schedule. So, we waited for the second lowest tide in the late afternoon. It was still really beautiful, even if we didn't see much. There were plenty of teal green sea anemones, that squish close if you get to close. And the little pools were crawling with hermit crabs in some areas. Eliza was fascinated by them, and the idea that they look for shells to live in. She kept trying to offer them new shells she found. 

Most of the beach was closed off because there was a massive group of elephant seals! They were all laying out in the sand, almost blending in if you didn't stop to look. They were so close! After we spent some time in the tide pools, we took a walk in the wooded reserve, which was majestic and eerily beautiful on it's own. The trees form this tunnel to walk through, and when you circle around the path you can see the entire coastline. 


It was such a nice trip. I hate to say things like, "Oh, it's the last time we will do..." But, let's be honest- in a way, it is. I have no doubt that we will still travel and do fun things after baby sister arrives. But, hey I've done this before. I know that adding a baby changes things. And, that's ok. Not to mention that, yes this really is the last trip we will take as a family of three. I just kept thinking that this is the last time we will sit in some cozy beach cottage while three-year-old Eliza chases after some cat, and we all lay around and relax in this exact way.

I have been trying to spend special time with Eliza. Luckily, my classes finished a few weeks ago, and things have slowed down quite a bit. I thought that I would want to pack in all of these wild and fun activities for us to do before the baby came. And, we have done a few- a movie at the theater or a trip to the zoo. But, it turns out all I want to do is be home with her. We spend our days playing at home, baking sweets, doing art projects. Today we painted fish scales with celery stamps, one stick dipped in paint in one hand, while chomping away at another. Last week we baked cookies and she said, "Let's save one for Papa, and we can eat the rest," and scrunched up her nose with mischief. Earlier this week, we made bread in a bag and Eliza called it "Smoosh Bread," and smothered it with Nutella for her after-dinner treat. And, some mornings are spent preparing baby items or deep-cleaning the house, while I listen to her bubble and squeal in her room. She's everything. She's everything I could have ever wanted in a daughter. I want this baby to come so badly... But, I don't want this special time to end. 

It's crazy to think that we will be adding this second, little human to our family. It's crazy to try and imagine Eliza as the "oldest child." It's crazy to think of answering to the whims of another baby, and filling our home with additional life. None of this is negative, not in my mind. But, it is still... crazy. I know I wouldn't have it any other way. I know that I want Eliza to have a sibling, and to see our family grow. But, I just have no possible way of imagining what that's going to be like.

I guess it's pretty similar to how I felt when it was time for Eliza to come. You just have no earthly idea of how to imagine what it will be like to have a baby. And then she came, and it was just everything. And, you have so much love you can't even handle it. I've been spending a lot of time looking back at pictures or things I wrote when she was born. Happiness. And joy. And extreme, profound love.

I think Eliza can sense that she's coming very soon. She hugs and kisses my belly all day, and never hesitates to declare, "I love our baby." Sam has been tirelessly working on building Eliza a new bed, and helping to get the house prepared for this little one. He is the perfect partner, and always a devoted father. And, me... I'm just in awe of the fact that there is now a fully grown baby inside of me. And my mama memories of infant joy are all flooding back- peaceful nursing, sleeping cuddles, and those tiny noises they make. Gimme that baby.

Baby Sister,
We are so excited to meet you. 
You are loved.