three months.

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Baby girl is three months! These pictures make me laugh. She spent the entire time trying to get to her toes, and so she kept curling forward and falling over. Also, here's Eliza in the same outfit at two months! Heart eyes!

So, this post is a little late. It's honestly been a rough month around here. Mostly, It;s because I jinxed us and bragged so much about how Sadie has only needed to wake up once a night since birth. Well, a few weeks ago she decided that her goal in life was to double her weight in the shortest amount of time imaginable. And so, baby girl now wakes up no less than five times a night and nurses like her life depends on it. Oy! These babies. As a result, I have become a sleep-deprived monster of a mom and Sadie has developed some deliciously chubby cheeks and thighs.

I am my worst self when I don't get enough sleep. Like, the worst. I have been short and snappy, and not at all loving. And then, every night I apologize to Eliza and ask her forgiveness. The other day, we had a terrible morning trying to get out the door to go to preschool. When I picked her up later, we chatted all the way home, where she said, "We had a rough morning." It made me want to cry. But, it also made me happy because I think she is starting to recognize these moments. We talk a lot about this stuff, because Eliza is a girl that is full of emotions... as are her parents. And that morning, I feel like she finally voiced her understanding that sometimes we have a rough morning, but we can try and be better tomorrow. I love her.

Sam Gray gave me a gift this weekend. He had a business trip he needed to take to Utah, and thought it would be nice for everyone if Eliza got to go with him. She has had the time of her life on her special trip to Utah, and Sadie and I have spent the last three days bonding in a way that we haven't been able to do so far. She is really starting to be her own little person, and I am so grateful I got to spend some alone time with her. I spent the first day napping multiple times, eating take-out, and watching trash tv (in the middle of the day!) Yesterday, we cuddled all morning, ate pastries for every meal, and wandered the Legion of Honor. I've decided that museum is my new happy place. I haven't been able to go to an art museum and actually wander leisurely alone in so long. It was like coming up for air- the way the light filtered through the rooms, and the perfect quiet that filled each space. The museum is just small enough to feel intimate, like you can possibly know each and every piece as if it was your own. It was like a dream. Sadie let me wander almost every room, until we reached the mummies where she decided quite suddenly that she was done. So, we went outside and sat on the steps, ate a chocolate croissant, looked out on the Golden Gate, and listened to a classical guitarist play. It was happiness.

Sadie also rolled on to her belly this weekend! And also, turn about like a compass. I think that she is flourishing without a certain somebody always poking her in the face all day. Just kidding. She loves Eliza.

Here are a few glimpses of Miss Sadie Lee lately:

chatting, "mommmamamama" - She has become such a chatterbox. She makes the cutest noises, and has started to use very specific sounds in a consistent way. For example, when she wants something but isn't worked up enough to actually cry about it, she calls out "mommmmmamamamom" which seriously sounds like she is calling out "Mama!" It is so crazy, and really sweet. Eliza is pretty convinced that she can talk, and one time I overheard her arguing with her cousin about this matter in the back of the car. And when Sadie's random chattering blurted out a "Mmmhmm!" Eliza went, "See! She said 'Mmmhmm!'"

head to the right- Sadie sleeps in our room, in a rocker next to my bed. I know I should transition her to her crib soon (also in our room), but I am reluctant because she sleeps so well in that rocker. I used to have bounce, rock, dance, and do acrobatics to get Eliza to fall asleep. But, when Sadie is tired, I just lay her in that thing, and stick a pacifier in her mouth. She then immediately settles in, always snuggling her head over her right shoulder in the direction of my bed. It is the cutest thing.

bubble blowing- She went through a phase where she loved blowing bubbles. She makes enough saliva to blow bubbles for ten babies, so it's usually pretty messy. When you blew bubbles back at her, her face would light up.

observer- Sadie is the quiet observer. She sits and watches you, going about your business. She loves to be in the baby carrier with her face uncovered, so she can see the world. Being the second child, I often care for her in steps. If she wakes up from a nap, I let her hang out in her swaddle until she calls out. Then I unwrap her and let her lay on the bed, until she calls out. Basically, I get as much done as I can until she reminds me that she has been pretty chill for awhile and now requires some attention. She's the best. The other day, we were all trying to get ready and get out the door. Sam put her in her carseat and we ran around the house getting dressed and wrangling an overly-dramatic Eliza. When I was finally ready to go, I come in the room to find Sadie sound asleep in her seat, wearing yesterday's pajamas, and plastered in glitter heart stickers. She must have gotten tired of watching us run around.

her smile- I love seeing that smile. I love seeing her face light up when she realizes that it's her turn for some mama time. She loves when you pull her arms up over her head, or when you jiggle her feet. She loves when big sister plays (softly) with her. And, she loves big kisses on the lips.

We love you, Sadie baby.

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